Sunday, February 15, 2009

Christmas 93

At 56 I guess it is time to try to organize my thoughts, record some of my joggings in a orderly fashion. I have been writing now since 93, before that time I don't think I ever recorded a story or clear thought on paper.

I always waited till the last moment to buy my parents or for that matter anyone else gifts. Often it would end badly, a mad plunge through the stores finally in desperation buying something they didn't need or could not or would not use.

As I looked through a book store in Spencer Iowa it started to eat at me, how wrong it was to shop in this manner, how much more my mother deserved, how I could never find anything in this store worthy of her. Of how much she had done for me, how much she had sacrificed. I made my purchase and went home but the thought haunted me. I felt feelings I had not before and words and phrases seemed to come to me, finally I could stand it no more, alone at home I gathered up a loose piece of paper and started scribbling. When I was finished I cried like baby. It should be edited and corrected, have some phrasing changed, but I believe I will leave it stand warts and all.

Christmas 93

So it's Christmas, and I give you two books.I went shopping and looked and looked, and in the end I bought you two books.

As I looked I thought of all you have given me and nothing I saw was good enoughThought of all the times I've done less then the best and you bit your tongue.

Of the times you read me poems when I was young from index cards no less.

I know at times I'd get in trouble and seemed to never listen, I know I didn't listen well enough.But many times the Devil was pulling at my sleeve when I would ask myself,”what would Mom think" and I would turn away.

Yes, I guess you beat the Devil and didn't even know ,so, I bought you two books.

When I am older in the winter of my life and my children ask of me”what do you want for Christmas Dad?”I will smile and say, Two books bring me for Christmas, and set them on the shelf.

And then come sit beside me and and tell me how you have been. Tell me your troubles and I will coax you on. Tell me your successes and I will cheer you on.If your doing something you shouldn't I'll bite my tongue and and give you that look.

Cause that's the way your Grandma taught me and for her trouble she got two books.

Love Roy

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